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02/10/2013

I Long To Sit in this meadows...

Oh , the lovely Autumn has come and I long to sit in this meadows at the back of my college. To listen to the late summer hum.  To wonder at the bowed heads of wilting grass-blades.  To drink in the gorgeous array of colour of the surrounding trees and the smell of their dew-dripping leaves.  To feel the light breeze and to smell the rain sodden earth.  This I love.  This feels like home.

I would want to paint.  To know the exhilaration of putting paint to paper in hope of coming close to what I see and feel here.  To be reminded that my palette of watercolor just cannot do justice to what's at my feet.  To go home from this place knowing I can look back through the pages of my sketchbook and be here again.

I would want to knit.  To sit here with wools the colors of the field, running through my fingers and needles.  Indeed I would rename the fibers as they fair-isled into a yarn painting:  Autumn Grass, Dew Drop, Goldenrod, and Clover Hay.  And each time I wore the finished piece I'd be able to smell the earth and hear the sounds of my field.

I would want to write.  To craft words that represent each blade of grass, wheat, and wild flower.  Letters that give real-time meaning to the other-worldly air I breathe here. Words that would be carefully crafted as if I had knit them...or painted them.

But I've come to my field without any of these.  Just to sit and take it all in.  I breathe in and out.  I gaze and marvel.  I ruminate.  I try to cease all thought.  And then I close my eyes.  Something trickles down my cheeks.  It is then that I have a thought I've never had before---perhaps all the paintings in watercolor and yarn, all the sketches and drawings, the knitted and crocheted creations, are tear-shaped drops that reflect the beauty that's all around me.  Perhaps a need to create is a way of exhaling it out, a way of crying to the Universe that it is so beautiful and I must make something of it or else I'd simply weep everywhere I go.
_Portia Burton,
Cambridge, October 2, 2013