FRIENDSHIP

FRIENDSHIP

Aristotle once said,"Whosoever is delighted in solitude,is either a wild beast or a god". How true! Because only a savage beast will have aversion towards society and on the other hand,god being all is also solitary at the same time!
  But do we really perceive what solitude actually is? For a crowd is not company and faces are but a gallery of images, and all talk but a babble, where there is no love.
 There is a Latin adage:'Magna civitas, magna solitudo'.-A great city is a great solitude, because in a metro city  friends are few and scattered, so that there is not much fellowship.
  A major fruit of friendship is its ability to relieve our heart from all the emotional load and oppression. We can open our heart only to a true friend to whom we may impart our griefs,,joys,fears,suspicions,apprehensions and whatsoever lies upon our heart to oppress it.
In a way we handover ourself to him like submitting to a doctor for a required surgery.
 A true friend is actually a sharer of troubles. He cuts our griefs in halves and redoubles our joys. His patient listening even to our idle thoughts clears our understanding and resolves the confusion of those thoughts. Because our own understanding and judgement is often clouded by our affections and preconceptions and sometimes by misplaced beliefs.
 Sometimes a friend's admonition is necessary to bring our wayward mind back on proper track. Our mother or father will always have a soft corner and partisan attitude towards us and will be lenient while dealing with our mistakes. But a true friend will never mix affection with true counsel which he thinks the need of the time. Then he won't bother about his words being harsh and unpallatable for us.He will call a spade a spade- nothing more, nothing less.
Thankfully I have got such a friend in 'G'.She has rightly become my other half!.....
-PORTIA

Letters Written On Wet Sand.......

Letters written On wet sand

Oh,that fateful day! That beautiful beach and you with me!Oh, for how long we were walking down the seashore hand in hand! We had forgotten about time , or rather the time had ceased to be for us. I will never forget that wonderful dawn.
 We had woken up very early and had reached the sea-shore just when the Dawn in her russett-coloured mantle was arriving on the horizon in her full glory. Wasn't it fun to steal away from our friends who were deep asleep in their rooms? I was still a little apprehensive but you reassured me by saying,"Don't worry,nobody is going to follow us.They all have drunk too much last night and won't wake up almost till afternoon! Now this whole stretch of silvery sand is just for ourselves!"
   I smiled at you while thanking my stars for you being a teetoteller.My dear,this was the good quality of you that attracted me towards you first.I was extremely happy for choosing you as my best friend who would never reek either of tobacco  or  of liqueur to spoil that heavenly contact known as 'the kiss'.
......It was still dark then. Some stars were still shining in the sky.There was no wind in the air and the waves were rocking gently. I was still a little sleepy and wished to lie down on the silvery sand and dozz a little while counting stars. But then I wouldn't have enjoyed this romantic walk with you.
  Suddenly you halted in the track and bent down to scribble something on the sand. I was amazed by your action and was curious to know as to what you had scribbled. But you stopped me from doing so,saying,"No,not now,please!"
 I smiled and said,"oh,what's the big deal? Anyway,the waves will soon wash away whatever you have scribbled there!"
  To that you answered gravely,"No, not if whatever I have written is really from my heart! I want to test my own truth!"
  I couldn't understand your strange words but you suddenly changed the topic to something funny.But then I got more curious. So just after the breakfast I rushed back to that spot and was spellbound with what I saw. There encased in a heartshape were two names-yours and mine!Oh,how you had expressed your love for me! Then your words came back to me like a thunderbolt-Yes!the waves couldn't dare to wipe off the true expression of your heart! I was overwhelmed so I looked up and thanked Him for giving you to me!
   I returned back to our resort asif on a cloud. I didn't say a word to you in order to honour the purity of your love.
   Instead,that day I sang some melodious lovesongs on my own accord without any cajoling from anybody as is the case normally with me. Everybody was a little suprised but happy. Then too I deliberately avoided looking at you.
   I was now sure that you were mine forever. But then.......
      ......Oh,why were we torn apart from each other? Why did some people came in between? Why did you choose a different path and a different country?
    ...I know that you haven't yet chosen a different companion,but you haven't kept any contact with me either.
......A few days ago I had again gone to that seafront resort with some friends. The seashore was just the same and the gentle waves were rocking like before. But I couldn't dare to go to meet them.The memory of 'that' day had become a shackle for me. I remained alone in my room and all the memories of our beautiful moments welled up in my eyes in the form of tears.
  ...That night I went down to the shore asif in a trance and wrote your name alongwith my name on the wet sand.I stayed there hoping against hope that by some miracle we will come together again just like these intertwinned letters and everything will be as before. But all in vain! Then giving out an anguished sigh I defeatedly returned back to the resort.
  After a restless night, on waking up I rushed to that spot,but alas, the waves had swept away my letters and their murmur was asif telling me that miracles never happen in real life.
 Well,even to this day I don't hope for any such miracle. But I am so accustomed to you,accustomed of sharing every thing,every thought with you, that I have to tell you all this which has welled up in my mind.
    I don't know your address, yet I am going to send you this letter and for that I have chosen these waves. I have made just one request in this letter-if ever you happen to write our names jointly on the sand,would you let me know?........
-PORTIA.

Is This love?...(part 2)

 IS THIS LOVE ? (part 2) 

In my last blog I had narrated how I had mistook my affection for my friend as love for him and how that  misunderstanding was cleared and we were good friends again.
 I was happy with this developement and more so because I had retained that dear friend.I was joyous once again. But my happiness didn't last long.One day, after a triffling tiff with one of my friends (who is a little short-tempered),she said in a taunting manner,"Oh,don't have such airs about you!I know what all you have done with 'S'.You aren't as coy as you pose to be.'S' told me how hot you are.Once in passion,you throw all your demureness to four winds.So, this is your real relationship with that boy!And this is your real face!"
 I was stunned by her diatribe.What exactly had happened? What all 'S' had told her? But from her words I could surmise that 'S' had said certain bad things about me.He had painted our relationship in the most  vulgar colours.In short, he himself had sexual desire for me and was trying to shift his vulgarality on to me! He did not bother that such lewd gossip might tarnish my clean image permanently and I will have to bear that scar for the rest of my life.
 I became numb by this unexpected shock.'S' had proved to be my worst enemy whom I was taking to be my best friend.Oh,that was the most unkindest cut!It made me to lose faith in everything and even in god. I thought that there's no goodness in this world and it is better to be a misanthrope like Shakespeare's ' Timon ' in this thankless world. I curdled into myself and became more and more an introvert.
 Since I didn't want to see the face of my soul's murderer 'S' and was unable to mingle in my other friends, I dropped out of college,went to a different place and took a different line of education.I entered the creative field of graffics and digital art and in the company of colours soon gained back my poise and self-confidence.
 However,I had now started to hate men in general and lost all attraction for them.My antagonism towards men increased by seeing certain examples of my friends who were treated by their boyfriends as things to be used and thrown away.In this frame of mind,'SHE' came in my life and made me aware of my feminity,its power,its beauty and its preciousness.By her own example she demonstrated me how fulfilling the relationship of two girls can be. At the same time she chided me about my enimntity towards men and asked me to shed away all such negativeness.
 Gradually 'SHE' became very special for me.She reciprocated my feelings by openly declaring that I was very special for her too .Then indirectly she declared her love for me in the following words:
She said,"Posh,do you know how to know when you are in love? When you are in love you start thinking that person as someone very special.
  "when you are with that spl.someone,you pretend not to take much notice of that person, but when that spl.someone is not around,you start searching for that person. At that moment you are in love.
 "When you are desperately waiting for a call from that spl.someone but your phone remains silent and each passing second feels like a death-knell, you are in love at that moment with that special someone.
 "When you get more excited for just one short e-mail from a special someone than other many long e-mails,you are in love with that special person.
"when you keep telling yourself that ' that special someone is just a friend' but know that your heart has a special corner reserved only for that special someone,you are in love with that person."
 I just took her hand in my hand to let her know that I agreed with her. She clasped my hand to seal our bond...........
   Now my dear friend,whosoever you are,if while reading this page someone comes in your mind you are in love with that person who is very special for you! Be in love, be happy and make others happy! However ,if your relationship is shaken out of balance, please refrain from damaging those wonderful moments of togetherness like what my one time friend 'S' had done in my case.Let go of that hand but cherish the memories of its warm touch.

PORTIA.

Oh,Is this Love?...(part one)

Oh,Is this Love?  ( part one)

He himself made friendship with me and strengthened it further.I too liked him and to be his friend. our friendship grew by each passing day and we became close friends.I started trusting him and sharing all my thoughts with him.Our interests were similar, so we started attending events,functions,concerts together.We even saw movies together. In short,we became inseperable and people around us started thinking about us as a pair.Due to this proximity I fell in love with him.. I took his coldness on that account as a sign of restraint and watchfulness. This made me to love and respect him more.
     ....Then after about six months he threw a bomb on me saying,"Don't fall in love with me!"
I was shocked and perturbed. I just kept looking at his face which had grown stern all of a sudden.
He said further,"If you are in love with me,tell me now.then it would be better for us to part ways.I don't want to be entangled in the mesh called 'love'".
 I was dumbstuck.What was he saying? why was he saying so? what made him to say so? What does he mean exactly? If he was going to say this,then why did he came so close to me? Why did he become my friend? How could he be so cruel afterchatting with me all these days most pleasantly and lovingly? Why did he give me those lovely gifts?
Then without looking at me,he added,"If you are in love with me you will suffer,but it won't matter to me. Since I was never in love with you,I will remain unscathed.however,we still can be good friends. Think over it. Bye now. Let me know. Take care."
Then without the customary handshake, he turned and left.
 I was stunned by this sudden and unexpected shock. I tried to hold back my tears. A lump in the throat had alredy made me speechless. But my anguished mind was busy in analysing the situation.
 What exactly is Love? Should his all signals,sweet talk,sharing things and our mutual urge to seek each other out for chatting for hours be termed as love? Should the way we missed each other even if we didn't meet for only two days be termed as love? But then what about this sudden change in his behaviour,his rude warning?
  I realised that he never loved me and my love for him was a one-sided affair. I was knowing him in a different light now and the glare of this reality blurred his earlier image in my mind. I started analysing my feelings for him.Then I realised that I had fallen in love with him not as a womanly attraction for him. I loved him because our likings were similar and he understood me quite easily.I had fallen in love with him because he was living life in the way in which I wanted to live life,he was doing those things which I myself wanted to do,and I found him to be a person with whom I could make the journey of life.He was my boyfriend,my girlfriend,my brother,my elder,my living diary...and many times nobody of me.I never wanted anything from him in return.I just thought him to be a part of me.
 this realisation cleared away all the dark clouds from my mind. Now there were no tears in my eyes. Now I could face him with the same ease as before. So I saught him out and told him what exactly was my love for him. He listened and then relaxed.A smile crossed his lips.He said,"Yes,you are right.You see,we both are so young to grasp the whole meaning and gravity of love.I had become afraid because I had started thinking about you sexually and loathed myself for it. For me you are most precious and I want no harm should come to you. So the very realisation that I myself may harm you out of my sexuality made me to distance myself away from you. But now we can really be good and true friends. However,even now both of us can not define correctly this friendship and this bond of ours."
 I smiled and said,"To tell you the truth,this inability is in itself wonderful. It will lead us to explore the intricrate thing called love and belonging to somebody in proper perspective.'
 he then shook my hand and we went our different ways.
(to be continued.....)
-PORTIA.
***************