15/12/2011
13/12/2011
WHEN WILL THIS ICE THAW?
When will this ice thaw?..
.
My Dearest,
This christmas We'll be far away from each other.You are already away in Scottland and I am now going abroad. We'll of course exchange greetings etc but ,oh, how much I wanted to celebrate this Christmas with you! ... Last night when I was just leafing through 'Khalil Gibran Reader' which you had given to me as a gift, I suddenly came across this sentence:'That kiss taught me that joining of lips in love reveals heavenly secret which the tongue can not utter!' and as I mused about the import of these words they transported me some eight years back to that 'special Christmas Kiss' of ours. It was that Christmas kiss which bonded us together and, oh, how even after all these years I remember so clearly!
...After becoming friends we had became so close that we wanted always to be with each other. After school we used to rush to the nearby park to stroll there wordlessly, simply enjoying our togetherness.We never knew when we started linking our arms. You started to wrap your arms around me and I started to cuddle closer to you. Gradually I started feeling your warmth so relaxing that I invariably cuddled to you for no reason whatsoever!
And then a strange urge took my hold-the urge to kiss you, to feel your lips on mine. I had never known how it felt like before and I was afraid and apprehensive. I didn't know how to go about it or when or if you too wanted to kiss me, because you never pushed me into anything I wasn't comfortable with. And this gentleness of yours made me to want you even more.
Then came that Christmas evening.
I had a tiff with my mom over a triffle, but being a much pampered and head-strong girl, even that simple thing put me in a rage and I stormed out of my home, and without knowing to myself reached your place!
You were there alone.You took me in and then to your room. Without asking me any questions you put on our favorite music and started humming that tune softly while I sat fuming on your bed.
After a few moments, which I felt like ages, you came to sit by my side and put your arm around me and looked intently at me. This was what I was waiting for. I clung to you and started venting all my anger and all my frustration and you just hugged me with a squeeze without saying a word.
When I began to cry, you gently wiped my tears.Then you lowered your head so tenderly on my cheek that I thought I imagined it! I felt strange and froze as you clasped me more tightly and dug your face in my hair. I smiled at you as best as I could and the next moment you pecked lightly and very tenderly on my lips! I was shocked. I was thrilled. I didn't believe what was happening.
We then looked at each other for a longer moment as if we were seeing each other for the first time! Then we embraced each other and you kissed me again, lingering on my lips lovingly and I involuntarily opened my mouth to you. It felt so thrilling and yet subduing as I felt your full moist lips on mine. Your lips felt soft as satin and were irresistible. I wasn't sure of what I was doing. I was shaking all over with unexplained joy and I could feel your shivers too! Yes, it was the first kiss for both of us.
Then you fondled my hair and pinching my nose playfully said softly,"Merry christmas, my sweetie! Now go home to your mom. She must be worried and waiting for you. How silly of you to be annoyed with her over a triffle like the shade of stockings she gave you as the Christmas present!"
I said with a smile,"Yes, that was really silly of me. But see, what a wonderful thing that sillyness has achieved!".
You mockingly widened your eyes and said with a smile," you are so childish! when will you grow up?You are almost of fourteen now!"
I pinched you lightly on your cheek and said, "And so are you too! But don't you feel we have grown up this very instance?"
On that you merely laughed your musical laugh and whispered,"Let us wish each other a Merry Christmas once again in that special way"....
.........But then Time came in between us. I went to Cambridge for further studies and you remained in London to find your own way.All those days you never said those 'three words' to me though I anxiously waited to hear them from you. However, you always said,'I am there for you whenever required' and that you have always been. In the meantime I strayed a little and suffered heart-break twice and both the time I found comfort only in your arms.I simply used to take you for granted, but you never complained.Your door was always open for me.
And now I have come to realise that I really love you and want nobody else than you for me. Yet I am apprehensive to utter those 'three words' to you. will you feel their honesty and intensity?Will a kiss recreate the magic of our first kiss and bond us now permanently?Oh, will you say those three coveted words to me?We both know how much we love each other but why are we afraid to declare our love? Oh, when will this ice thaw? Till then how can be the Christmas 'merry' for me?...
(This is just a work of fiction)
..PORTIA
.
My Dearest,
This christmas We'll be far away from each other.You are already away in Scottland and I am now going abroad. We'll of course exchange greetings etc but ,oh, how much I wanted to celebrate this Christmas with you! ... Last night when I was just leafing through 'Khalil Gibran Reader' which you had given to me as a gift, I suddenly came across this sentence:'That kiss taught me that joining of lips in love reveals heavenly secret which the tongue can not utter!' and as I mused about the import of these words they transported me some eight years back to that 'special Christmas Kiss' of ours. It was that Christmas kiss which bonded us together and, oh, how even after all these years I remember so clearly!
...After becoming friends we had became so close that we wanted always to be with each other. After school we used to rush to the nearby park to stroll there wordlessly, simply enjoying our togetherness.We never knew when we started linking our arms. You started to wrap your arms around me and I started to cuddle closer to you. Gradually I started feeling your warmth so relaxing that I invariably cuddled to you for no reason whatsoever!
And then a strange urge took my hold-the urge to kiss you, to feel your lips on mine. I had never known how it felt like before and I was afraid and apprehensive. I didn't know how to go about it or when or if you too wanted to kiss me, because you never pushed me into anything I wasn't comfortable with. And this gentleness of yours made me to want you even more.
Then came that Christmas evening.
I had a tiff with my mom over a triffle, but being a much pampered and head-strong girl, even that simple thing put me in a rage and I stormed out of my home, and without knowing to myself reached your place!
You were there alone.You took me in and then to your room. Without asking me any questions you put on our favorite music and started humming that tune softly while I sat fuming on your bed.
After a few moments, which I felt like ages, you came to sit by my side and put your arm around me and looked intently at me. This was what I was waiting for. I clung to you and started venting all my anger and all my frustration and you just hugged me with a squeeze without saying a word.
When I began to cry, you gently wiped my tears.Then you lowered your head so tenderly on my cheek that I thought I imagined it! I felt strange and froze as you clasped me more tightly and dug your face in my hair. I smiled at you as best as I could and the next moment you pecked lightly and very tenderly on my lips! I was shocked. I was thrilled. I didn't believe what was happening.
We then looked at each other for a longer moment as if we were seeing each other for the first time! Then we embraced each other and you kissed me again, lingering on my lips lovingly and I involuntarily opened my mouth to you. It felt so thrilling and yet subduing as I felt your full moist lips on mine. Your lips felt soft as satin and were irresistible. I wasn't sure of what I was doing. I was shaking all over with unexplained joy and I could feel your shivers too! Yes, it was the first kiss for both of us.
Then you fondled my hair and pinching my nose playfully said softly,"Merry christmas, my sweetie! Now go home to your mom. She must be worried and waiting for you. How silly of you to be annoyed with her over a triffle like the shade of stockings she gave you as the Christmas present!"
I said with a smile,"Yes, that was really silly of me. But see, what a wonderful thing that sillyness has achieved!".
You mockingly widened your eyes and said with a smile," you are so childish! when will you grow up?You are almost of fourteen now!"
I pinched you lightly on your cheek and said, "And so are you too! But don't you feel we have grown up this very instance?"
On that you merely laughed your musical laugh and whispered,"Let us wish each other a Merry Christmas once again in that special way"....
.........But then Time came in between us. I went to Cambridge for further studies and you remained in London to find your own way.All those days you never said those 'three words' to me though I anxiously waited to hear them from you. However, you always said,'I am there for you whenever required' and that you have always been. In the meantime I strayed a little and suffered heart-break twice and both the time I found comfort only in your arms.I simply used to take you for granted, but you never complained.Your door was always open for me.
And now I have come to realise that I really love you and want nobody else than you for me. Yet I am apprehensive to utter those 'three words' to you. will you feel their honesty and intensity?Will a kiss recreate the magic of our first kiss and bond us now permanently?Oh, will you say those three coveted words to me?We both know how much we love each other but why are we afraid to declare our love? Oh, when will this ice thaw? Till then how can be the Christmas 'merry' for me?...
(This is just a work of fiction)
..PORTIA
12/12/2011
10/12/2011
09/12/2011
08/12/2011
07/12/2011
06/12/2011
03/12/2011
02/12/2011
TOO OFTEN.....
Dear Friends,
When in some distress or in gloomy mood, I am left with only one recourse-to open out to you!
and, oh,how instantly you rush to my side,and by your caring, loving words,
help me to come out my own-induced darkness,
and see once again the brighter side of life!
I am really thankful to you all-Melissa 'mom',Stuart Nager-my 'Prospero', 'Coloured Bubbles', Ravenmyth,Alpana,Sulekha,Sancheeta, Maneesha,Rimly,,Fher,Janu,Mohini, Gargi, K and others....
I am overwhelmed by your response to my 'Struggle Within' and now to 'the impractical Fool'.
Yes, being a mere mortal, I have my share of bright and dark days,
But now I am sure that you will be with me always!
Now here are some of my mom's words which I've put before you in the form of a poem:-
'TOO OFTEN'....
ever yours,
PORTIA
When in some distress or in gloomy mood, I am left with only one recourse-to open out to you!
and, oh,how instantly you rush to my side,and by your caring, loving words,
help me to come out my own-induced darkness,
and see once again the brighter side of life!
I am really thankful to you all-Melissa 'mom',Stuart Nager-my 'Prospero', 'Coloured Bubbles', Ravenmyth,Alpana,Sulekha,Sancheeta, Maneesha,Rimly,,Fher,Janu,Mohini, Gargi, K and others....
I am overwhelmed by your response to my 'Struggle Within' and now to 'the impractical Fool'.
Yes, being a mere mortal, I have my share of bright and dark days,
But now I am sure that you will be with me always!
Now here are some of my mom's words which I've put before you in the form of a poem:-
'TOO OFTEN'....
PORTIA
28/11/2011
26/11/2011
25/11/2011
24/11/2011
23/11/2011
21/11/2011
20/11/2011
16/11/2011
THE STRUGGLE WITHIN
THE STRUGGLE WITHIN
Nobody is perfect, at least I am not. I have my own deficiencies, drawbacks, faults and past mistakes. But I try to hide all these negative things deep within myself. I try to bury them in the hope that they would die. But they don't and come back to haunt me again and again. My past keeps intruding in my present. Then there are those hurts. Some trifling things. which were fun when they happened, were distorted and villainishly used against me,causing me great harm and then I was made to feel guilty about them. I tried to shrug off and then bury that feeling of unjust guilt in the deepest corner of my heart, yet it eats me continuously.
My 'guide' told me to hang out my guilt complexes, my frustrations, my anger, my unrequited love, the hurts I have suffered at the hands of others and then , according to him,I will feel better.
But it is so difficult and almost impossible to do so, especially for a girl like me who has been conditioned from childhood to follow a particular way of social behaviour, even to the extent of at what angle you should put your fork and knife after having your dinner and how a 'social drink' should be sipped! I've been trained to maintain my 'British' stiff upper lip and maintain a dignified silence about my hurts and emotions.
It is not that I didn't try. I tried to break all these 'shackles' and get 'liberated' by aping my 'funky' college friends. I adopted their mannerism,their slang language, their way of dressing and even drank heavily and partied hard late in night with them. But all the time my 'inner' Portia gnawed at me, scolding me and reminding me of my 'pedigree'. This tussle between the external and inner Portia became so intense that 'both' Portias got almost devastated.
Then came the phase of withdrawal. withdrawal from everything, even to some extent from myself, becoming a turtle, growing a hard shell like it and cringing in that shell.
But that too didn't help much. So, in came a 'guide'. He held many 'guidance sessions', hammering into me,''Don't just feel 'okay', you have to feel absolutely 'Great' about yourself. You have to come to terms with your troubled past."
....,.I tried but couldn't succeed. Because something happens. Somebody reminds me of some past thing and that ghost raises his head again and starts haunting me.
..........,.I just wonder, instead of asking a person to come to terms with his past, why don't we ourselves forget or ignore his past and accept him as he is now? Aren't some things best left unsaid?
I have now realised why my mother isn't fond of 'keepsake' photos. She says that such photos keep us tied to the past and we usually remember hurtful things more than the pleasant things and allow our past to muddle our present. I also now realise that it is better to keep some things of past away from your loved ones and move ahead with the present.What is done is done.
....PORTIA
Nobody is perfect, at least I am not. I have my own deficiencies, drawbacks, faults and past mistakes. But I try to hide all these negative things deep within myself. I try to bury them in the hope that they would die. But they don't and come back to haunt me again and again. My past keeps intruding in my present. Then there are those hurts. Some trifling things. which were fun when they happened, were distorted and villainishly used against me,causing me great harm and then I was made to feel guilty about them. I tried to shrug off and then bury that feeling of unjust guilt in the deepest corner of my heart, yet it eats me continuously.
My 'guide' told me to hang out my guilt complexes, my frustrations, my anger, my unrequited love, the hurts I have suffered at the hands of others and then , according to him,I will feel better.
But it is so difficult and almost impossible to do so, especially for a girl like me who has been conditioned from childhood to follow a particular way of social behaviour, even to the extent of at what angle you should put your fork and knife after having your dinner and how a 'social drink' should be sipped! I've been trained to maintain my 'British' stiff upper lip and maintain a dignified silence about my hurts and emotions.
It is not that I didn't try. I tried to break all these 'shackles' and get 'liberated' by aping my 'funky' college friends. I adopted their mannerism,their slang language, their way of dressing and even drank heavily and partied hard late in night with them. But all the time my 'inner' Portia gnawed at me, scolding me and reminding me of my 'pedigree'. This tussle between the external and inner Portia became so intense that 'both' Portias got almost devastated.
Then came the phase of withdrawal. withdrawal from everything, even to some extent from myself, becoming a turtle, growing a hard shell like it and cringing in that shell.
But that too didn't help much. So, in came a 'guide'. He held many 'guidance sessions', hammering into me,''Don't just feel 'okay', you have to feel absolutely 'Great' about yourself. You have to come to terms with your troubled past."
....,.I tried but couldn't succeed. Because something happens. Somebody reminds me of some past thing and that ghost raises his head again and starts haunting me.
..........,.I just wonder, instead of asking a person to come to terms with his past, why don't we ourselves forget or ignore his past and accept him as he is now? Aren't some things best left unsaid?
I have now realised why my mother isn't fond of 'keepsake' photos. She says that such photos keep us tied to the past and we usually remember hurtful things more than the pleasant things and allow our past to muddle our present. I also now realise that it is better to keep some things of past away from your loved ones and move ahead with the present.What is done is done.
....PORTIA
15/11/2011
THAT EVENING IN SIRMIONE,ITALY
THAT EVENING IN SIRMIONE, ITALY.....
Dear Friends,
you've already read my travelogues about Brescia, Sirmione, Verona, Venice and Paris.
Oh, I can't believe myself that I saw all these wonderful places in just ten days! But there is a border of some regret to this rich tapestry of my joy. I had no company while I was enjoying these breathtaking places since all my five colleagues were old and not interested in site-seeing, having seen these and other places many times.
My mom rightly says,'joy is increased and sorrow is decreased by sharing'. I had no one there to share my joy of being in a semi-paradise, and felt my loneliness the most while I was seating near 'Lake Garda' in Sirmione.Then I missed someone very special the most and it brought tears to my eyes. I just sat there looking at the tranquil lake, the incoming dusk, and a lonesome tree and wept silently in rememberance..
My mute sobs then took the form of a poem.
As I shared my joy of this wonderful tour with you, let me now share my tears of loneliness also with you.
When to the blue of the yonder sky
A tint of dusk was added,
I remembered you, my beloved.
When from that lonesome tree
A flock of birds hastily fled,
I remembered you, my beloved.
When from the ripples of that 'lake Garda'
I heard as if a song of a mermaid,
I remembered you, my beloved.
Though all the while my heart was telling,
'This is a fantasy,don't get misled',
Yet I remembered you, my beloved.
Then from nowhere a feather came,
And lightly alighted on my head,
Perhaps you remembered me, my beloved?
....PORTIA
P.S.
I give here a map of that beautiful land-locked 'Lake Garda' and you will see how that 'Sirmione' is so prettily placed!
Dear Friends,
you've already read my travelogues about Brescia, Sirmione, Verona, Venice and Paris.
Oh, I can't believe myself that I saw all these wonderful places in just ten days! But there is a border of some regret to this rich tapestry of my joy. I had no company while I was enjoying these breathtaking places since all my five colleagues were old and not interested in site-seeing, having seen these and other places many times.
My mom rightly says,'joy is increased and sorrow is decreased by sharing'. I had no one there to share my joy of being in a semi-paradise, and felt my loneliness the most while I was seating near 'Lake Garda' in Sirmione.Then I missed someone very special the most and it brought tears to my eyes. I just sat there looking at the tranquil lake, the incoming dusk, and a lonesome tree and wept silently in rememberance..
My mute sobs then took the form of a poem.
As I shared my joy of this wonderful tour with you, let me now share my tears of loneliness also with you.
When to the blue of the yonder sky
A tint of dusk was added,
I remembered you, my beloved.
When from that lonesome tree
A flock of birds hastily fled,
I remembered you, my beloved.
When from the ripples of that 'lake Garda'
I heard as if a song of a mermaid,
I remembered you, my beloved.
Though all the while my heart was telling,
'This is a fantasy,don't get misled',
Yet I remembered you, my beloved.
Then from nowhere a feather came,
And lightly alighted on my head,
Perhaps you remembered me, my beloved?
....PORTIA
P.S.
I give here a map of that beautiful land-locked 'Lake Garda' and you will see how that 'Sirmione' is so prettily placed!
............PORTIA
12/11/2011
09/11/2011
PARIS- The Treasure Of Louvre
PARIS : THE TREASURE OF LOUVRE
Dear Friends,
I am posting some of the photos taken by me while taking a tour of the Louvre museum.
If you like these photos I'd be thankful and if you think some photos haven't been taken properly I may please be pardoned. But I hope, you will share my joy in taking them.
1. PAINTINGS:
Coronation of Napolian
SCULPTURES:
Sphinx (In Egyptian section)
Adieu, Eiffel Tower! Adieu, PARIS!!
Dear friends,
Thank you for being patient with me.
Have a nice time!!
...PORTIA
Dear Friends,
I am posting some of the photos taken by me while taking a tour of the Louvre museum.
If you like these photos I'd be thankful and if you think some photos haven't been taken properly I may please be pardoned. But I hope, you will share my joy in taking them.
1. PAINTINGS:
SCULPTURES:
Dear friends,
Thank you for being patient with me.
Have a nice time!!
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