24/10/2011
17/10/2011
PASSING THROUGH THE NATURE TO ETERNITY
PASSING THROUGH THE NATURE TO ETERNITY
My friends,
Thanks to your heartfelt wishes my mom's health is improving and even the doctors are very optimistic about her. She herself has felt it and is trying to be her usual cheerful self again, but her smile has a tinge of some seriousness now.
The other day she said in a lighter vein over the vapours of morning coffee,"Yes,now I have realised what does your Shakespeare mean by 'Readiness is all'. I am ready now. We have heard 'that' knock on our door.I know 'That' tour-conductor' is waiting for me."
She has named 'Death' as 'the tour conductor' who will take her on a tour of the 'Neverland'.
Oh,how subtly she has blunted the severity of the idea of Death! Her words have put us at ease and we no more talk about Death in hushed and frightened tone.
Last week when we heard about Steve Jobs' demise, mom asked me to read out one of his quotes,"Death cleans out the old to make way for the new. No one can escape it."
At first I was rather apprehensive to read aloud those lines but after uttering them they didn't sound that harsh and then on my own I blurted out Shakespeare's words,
"All that lives must die,
Passing through the nature to eternity,"
On that both my mom and dad laughed and suddenly the room felt like full of fresh air.
After a few moments, mom said,"But how seriously do we take these words?The one thing that we take most for granted is life itself. No one wants to die. But life is the most unpredictable thing and so it is better to be ready for anything.
"Nowadays I often think,'if I only had tomorrow and knew that there was no more!' Then I ask myself,'How would you choose to spend it,making it brigher for others or get drowned in your own sorrow?'
"Many people find comfort in the idea of 'rebirth' and some religions believe in it. But then, it will be another life, with no connection whatsoever to the life we lived!So, I don't indulge myself with that idea. For me life is NOW and what all I have. I would surely go to 'the Neverland' one day but I would like to leave behind some nice pleasant memory for people to remember me by when I am gone, as 'the bard' said,'passing through the nature to eternity'."
...............
All I could utter was a whispered 'AMEN!'
-PORTIA
My friends,
Thanks to your heartfelt wishes my mom's health is improving and even the doctors are very optimistic about her. She herself has felt it and is trying to be her usual cheerful self again, but her smile has a tinge of some seriousness now.
The other day she said in a lighter vein over the vapours of morning coffee,"Yes,now I have realised what does your Shakespeare mean by 'Readiness is all'. I am ready now. We have heard 'that' knock on our door.I know 'That' tour-conductor' is waiting for me."
She has named 'Death' as 'the tour conductor' who will take her on a tour of the 'Neverland'.
Oh,how subtly she has blunted the severity of the idea of Death! Her words have put us at ease and we no more talk about Death in hushed and frightened tone.
Last week when we heard about Steve Jobs' demise, mom asked me to read out one of his quotes,"Death cleans out the old to make way for the new. No one can escape it."
At first I was rather apprehensive to read aloud those lines but after uttering them they didn't sound that harsh and then on my own I blurted out Shakespeare's words,
"All that lives must die,
Passing through the nature to eternity,"
On that both my mom and dad laughed and suddenly the room felt like full of fresh air.
After a few moments, mom said,"But how seriously do we take these words?The one thing that we take most for granted is life itself. No one wants to die. But life is the most unpredictable thing and so it is better to be ready for anything.
"Nowadays I often think,'if I only had tomorrow and knew that there was no more!' Then I ask myself,'How would you choose to spend it,making it brigher for others or get drowned in your own sorrow?'
"Many people find comfort in the idea of 'rebirth' and some religions believe in it. But then, it will be another life, with no connection whatsoever to the life we lived!So, I don't indulge myself with that idea. For me life is NOW and what all I have. I would surely go to 'the Neverland' one day but I would like to leave behind some nice pleasant memory for people to remember me by when I am gone, as 'the bard' said,'passing through the nature to eternity'."
...............
All I could utter was a whispered 'AMEN!'
-PORTIA
13/10/2011
MOM'S OLD NOTEBOOKS
MY MOM'S OLD NOTEBOOKS
I have suddenly found
My mom's old notebooks
And grabbing her words like a hand
I am travelling with her backwards
In her as well as my own past....
As if I've entered into a hall of mirrors,
Each mirror reflecting a different year,
A different me, a different her,
so far away, yet so very near!...
There's my schoolbus and the road to my school,
There's my lunchbox and that swimming pool
Wherein I got almost drowned amidst anxious giggles,
Only to be saved by her, oh, all those ripples
I still feel in my bones, and that 'blood',
Which she had termed with a smile as my 'first period'....
There are some blank pages, but through them too
I can hear her indrawn breaths, and her pauses,
Her unease,silent sighs or plain boredom,
A low whispered,'Oh,come what may come.'
Then in some entries I see myself
In her place, clad in her words,
No more just moulded in her image
But her herself!
And then in some entries she seems, oh ,so different!
Almost like a stranger and alienlike distant!
And some entries carry a mute hidden warning,
"Halt here!No further trespassing!"
Even then I move on stealthily and anxiously,
Just like in the childhood in the dark night
I would suddenly wake up and out of fright
Would sleepwalk to her bed and enter into her quilt
Embrace her and blush with a sense of guilt,
When my hand would touch her naked breasts,
Whose plumpness would cast a strange spell,
With their warmth and musky milky smell!....
Shivering a little with those memories I move on
Only to find some pages have been roughly torn,
Shocked a little,I wonder, what does this mean,
Oh, how that gap seems like her shrivelled skin
Where her right breast was but a few days ago,
Just then she comes from behind and whispers 'Let go'....
.........
PORTIA
I have suddenly found
My mom's old notebooks
And grabbing her words like a hand
I am travelling with her backwards
In her as well as my own past....
As if I've entered into a hall of mirrors,
Each mirror reflecting a different year,
A different me, a different her,
so far away, yet so very near!...
There's my schoolbus and the road to my school,
There's my lunchbox and that swimming pool
Wherein I got almost drowned amidst anxious giggles,
Only to be saved by her, oh, all those ripples
I still feel in my bones, and that 'blood',
Which she had termed with a smile as my 'first period'....
There are some blank pages, but through them too
I can hear her indrawn breaths, and her pauses,
Her unease,silent sighs or plain boredom,
A low whispered,'Oh,come what may come.'
Then in some entries I see myself
In her place, clad in her words,
No more just moulded in her image
But her herself!
And then in some entries she seems, oh ,so different!
Almost like a stranger and alienlike distant!
And some entries carry a mute hidden warning,
"Halt here!No further trespassing!"
Even then I move on stealthily and anxiously,
Just like in the childhood in the dark night
I would suddenly wake up and out of fright
Would sleepwalk to her bed and enter into her quilt
Embrace her and blush with a sense of guilt,
When my hand would touch her naked breasts,
Whose plumpness would cast a strange spell,
With their warmth and musky milky smell!....
Shivering a little with those memories I move on
Only to find some pages have been roughly torn,
Shocked a little,I wonder, what does this mean,
Oh, how that gap seems like her shrivelled skin
Where her right breast was but a few days ago,
Just then she comes from behind and whispers 'Let go'....
.........
PORTIA
11/10/2011
10/10/2011
My Friends! A Request!...
My Friends! A request!.....
My relationship with Richard has ended.
There is no acrimony involved, and,
We are the only two people who know
What exactly went out of it.
As long as we both respect the truth, it will be okay.
I have learnt a lot while as was in it and
Don't regret even a single moment of it.
It has helped me move on in life and start afresh.
When a relationship fails to work out,
It doesn't have to be one person's fault.
I have taken a lot of blame for my relationships turning sour
And I always used to find faults with myself.
Yes,I have erred,erred a lot, and let myself be exploited.
I have suffered greatly on account of a simple 'girly frollic' in the hostel,
And also have been a victim of 'drug abuse'.
And when I came to my senses,
I had felt like committing suicide instead of facing shame.
That time my mom became my Angel and dragged me
Out of that deep abyss of negativity.
She made me realise that blaming oneself
Is not the best way to deal with things,
Because you carry guilt and ill-feelings
To your next relationship and on and on.
I have been trying to correct myself all the time.
But the main trouble with me is that
I am a hopeless romantic,
And always fantasise my 'Love'
As either 'a fairy' or 'a knight in shining armour'!
I believe in any person very easily,
Almost ready to be taken for a ride!The moment I start loving somebody,
And loving comes to me almost instantly,
I start thinking that 'this is for keeps!'
But it has never happened that way,at least till today,
And I am left bleeding, collecting the broken pieces.
I simply fail to realise
That no matter how good somebody might look on the outside,
We all have some dark corners and our insecurities inside.
I just want to request my friends
To support me in my ongoing battle
And accept me as I am, both good and bad,
With my charm and childishness,
And some madness too!
Indulge me as you indulge my poems!
...PORTIA
My relationship with Richard has ended.
There is no acrimony involved, and,
We are the only two people who know
What exactly went out of it.
As long as we both respect the truth, it will be okay.
I have learnt a lot while as was in it and
Don't regret even a single moment of it.
It has helped me move on in life and start afresh.
When a relationship fails to work out,
It doesn't have to be one person's fault.
I have taken a lot of blame for my relationships turning sour
And I always used to find faults with myself.
Yes,I have erred,erred a lot, and let myself be exploited.
I have suffered greatly on account of a simple 'girly frollic' in the hostel,
And also have been a victim of 'drug abuse'.
And when I came to my senses,
I had felt like committing suicide instead of facing shame.
That time my mom became my Angel and dragged me
Out of that deep abyss of negativity.
She made me realise that blaming oneself
Is not the best way to deal with things,
Because you carry guilt and ill-feelings
To your next relationship and on and on.
I have been trying to correct myself all the time.
But the main trouble with me is that
I am a hopeless romantic,
And always fantasise my 'Love'
As either 'a fairy' or 'a knight in shining armour'!
I believe in any person very easily,
Almost ready to be taken for a ride!The moment I start loving somebody,
And loving comes to me almost instantly,
I start thinking that 'this is for keeps!'
But it has never happened that way,at least till today,
And I am left bleeding, collecting the broken pieces.
I simply fail to realise
That no matter how good somebody might look on the outside,
We all have some dark corners and our insecurities inside.
I just want to request my friends
To support me in my ongoing battle
And accept me as I am, both good and bad,
With my charm and childishness,
And some madness too!
Indulge me as you indulge my poems!
...PORTIA
06/10/2011
01/10/2011
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