When In Love....
I was then having a strange urge for a change. I couldn't name it, but just felt its intensity........I wondered where this would take me. This urge is close to anticipation of a climax. It built on in waves...stronger and stronger. Would I ride on its waves? Would I let it sweep me away? Would I be on the crest of the waves? Would I let it pass? I did not know. I wanted to know.
In the past,my 'teen' days, which I cherish, whenever I wanted a change I used to run to the hairdresser. A change of hair cut or hair style would trap me into thinking of it as a change I wanted. Now I laugh at the thought of it. Pictures of myself keep reminding me how self - deceiving I was. An urge for change rooted into most intimate thoughts will not go away with a new hair-cut or new cloths or a new friend.
As I sip my morning cup of coffee, I realize that there is actually no need for change. It's my inner self which screams for freedom. Freedom from conventions, freedom from self-inflicted stereotypes, freedom from what others want me to have/want. When I am at peace with myself, there is no such urge. I am filled with creative flows, I am generous, I am happy. Have I forgotten the golden rules of inner peace? - 'Be grateful, see the beauty in everything around me, enjoy it, even if it's a fallen leaf! Breathe slowly, smile, laugh, dream with eyes wide open, let the warmth of love heal your heart!'etc...
Then I witnessed huge changes happening in one of my dearest friend Autumn Eliza's life. I know her for over 15 years now. She grew up with me and we have become soul-sisters. We both love art, artists, western classical music, and poetry.We even studied painting together because she wanted to study something with me since she is younger by two years to me, the fact she hates the most.But then 'love' happened to her and she embraced its enormous life transforming change over her cozy and secure life, rebelling against her parents.While witnessing her struggle to break away from what she thought as shackles and running towards an uncertain dream, I realized every change she made towards her inner self was gradual, painful at times but in a beautiful, creative way. She is now at peace. She has easily adjusted herself from a lavish living-style in London to a much simpler style in Paris with her beau. She is content in just one bedroom apartment there! I see it in her eyes, her gestures, her smile. Will she want to radically change anything now? I looked for an answer in her recent paintings, and I was satisfied to see that she had retained her merriness, her basic characteristic and needs no more change. She has anchored in a safe harbor, filled with love. And as for myself, I understood what was that strange urge. It was love calling me! I was surprised to see that my life is playing out my dear friend's life-story of embracing love over anything else, though luckily for me I did not need to rebel. And when in love, where is the need for any change when every moment you remain becoming more beautiful?...
-Portia Burton
I was then having a strange urge for a change. I couldn't name it, but just felt its intensity........I wondered where this would take me. This urge is close to anticipation of a climax. It built on in waves...stronger and stronger. Would I ride on its waves? Would I let it sweep me away? Would I be on the crest of the waves? Would I let it pass? I did not know. I wanted to know.
In the past,my 'teen' days, which I cherish, whenever I wanted a change I used to run to the hairdresser. A change of hair cut or hair style would trap me into thinking of it as a change I wanted. Now I laugh at the thought of it. Pictures of myself keep reminding me how self - deceiving I was. An urge for change rooted into most intimate thoughts will not go away with a new hair-cut or new cloths or a new friend.
As I sip my morning cup of coffee, I realize that there is actually no need for change. It's my inner self which screams for freedom. Freedom from conventions, freedom from self-inflicted stereotypes, freedom from what others want me to have/want. When I am at peace with myself, there is no such urge. I am filled with creative flows, I am generous, I am happy. Have I forgotten the golden rules of inner peace? - 'Be grateful, see the beauty in everything around me, enjoy it, even if it's a fallen leaf! Breathe slowly, smile, laugh, dream with eyes wide open, let the warmth of love heal your heart!'etc...
Then I witnessed huge changes happening in one of my dearest friend Autumn Eliza's life. I know her for over 15 years now. She grew up with me and we have become soul-sisters. We both love art, artists, western classical music, and poetry.We even studied painting together because she wanted to study something with me since she is younger by two years to me, the fact she hates the most.But then 'love' happened to her and she embraced its enormous life transforming change over her cozy and secure life, rebelling against her parents.While witnessing her struggle to break away from what she thought as shackles and running towards an uncertain dream, I realized every change she made towards her inner self was gradual, painful at times but in a beautiful, creative way. She is now at peace. She has easily adjusted herself from a lavish living-style in London to a much simpler style in Paris with her beau. She is content in just one bedroom apartment there! I see it in her eyes, her gestures, her smile. Will she want to radically change anything now? I looked for an answer in her recent paintings, and I was satisfied to see that she had retained her merriness, her basic characteristic and needs no more change. She has anchored in a safe harbor, filled with love. And as for myself, I understood what was that strange urge. It was love calling me! I was surprised to see that my life is playing out my dear friend's life-story of embracing love over anything else, though luckily for me I did not need to rebel. And when in love, where is the need for any change when every moment you remain becoming more beautiful?...
-Portia Burton
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