MY MOTHER: MY PHILOSOPHER,MY GUIDE!
Now I am with my mother who is struggling with a tasking ailment. I am simply amazed to see her braveness with which she is facing this ordeal. Being constantly in her company, my thoughts are about her only and every single moment I thank god for giving me such a wonderful person as my mother.
Looking back at the way she has raised me, the first thing which comes to my mind is how she indirectly encouraged me to be free to be me,myself!She never asked me to' this' or 'that',neither she scolded me for being 'too this' or 'too that', 'too noisy' or 'too playful'. she just let me be.I used to hear people blaming her for my 'tomboyishness' but she herself never thought so about me.
The freedom she gave me slowly made me to realize my responsibilty towards her. And involuntarily I began to check and correct my actions and words.
However, my Dad was another case.He is traditional in thinking and wanted me to adhere to tradition, to behave according to certain accepted rules of behaviour, and to dress according to the norm.But,he never forced his openion upon me, though I could see an occassional frown on his face.He didn't like my mom's way of discussing everything concerning our family openly. He felt certain things shouldn't be discussed before children.
As I entered adolescence I naturally had some new and thrilling feelings and longings.however, my free behaviour was mistaken for flirtyness and in turn all my romantic dreams were shattered. I became cocooned in myself and started to shun boys, who, I felt, were after me just for sex. At this juncture 'Cathy' became my friend and saved me from getting mired in gloominess.Slowly but surely I got attached to her and we established a beautiful relationship.
Once my mom came upon us in our intimate moment. We were embarrassed but she left instantly without saying anything.
However, I was uneasy and brought up this topic with her.
Looking directly in my eyes, she asked,"Do you feel guilty ?"
I firmly said,"No".
She patted my hand and said,"Then it is alright. Posh,I have always encouraged you to be free to be yourself.I don't believe that human behaviour should be regulated by rules. If we all were true to our ' inner self' rules wouldn't be necessary. We all have an ingrained sense of right and wrong, of what is loving and what is not.
"always trust your instinct. trust that small inner voice that guides you to the right ,loving action. That small inner voice is who you really are. Be free to be yourself. Allow yourself to be spontanious. feel your felings, express the truth as you see it in the present moment, and let your love for life radiate from your whole being, expressed in your thoughts, words, and action. Trust yourself. affirm:'I am free to express in whatever way I like and will always be true to my inner being'. You have the right to live your life on your own terms. But then,only you will be responsible for yourself. Realize that this responsibility is really great. Honour it always. you may commit mistakes, but treating them as errors in judgement and lessons learnt, move on.remember, you are not only my child but a divine child of this universe! "
-PORTIA
Now I am with my mother who is struggling with a tasking ailment. I am simply amazed to see her braveness with which she is facing this ordeal. Being constantly in her company, my thoughts are about her only and every single moment I thank god for giving me such a wonderful person as my mother.
Looking back at the way she has raised me, the first thing which comes to my mind is how she indirectly encouraged me to be free to be me,myself!She never asked me to' this' or 'that',neither she scolded me for being 'too this' or 'too that', 'too noisy' or 'too playful'. she just let me be.I used to hear people blaming her for my 'tomboyishness' but she herself never thought so about me.
The freedom she gave me slowly made me to realize my responsibilty towards her. And involuntarily I began to check and correct my actions and words.
However, my Dad was another case.He is traditional in thinking and wanted me to adhere to tradition, to behave according to certain accepted rules of behaviour, and to dress according to the norm.But,he never forced his openion upon me, though I could see an occassional frown on his face.He didn't like my mom's way of discussing everything concerning our family openly. He felt certain things shouldn't be discussed before children.
As I entered adolescence I naturally had some new and thrilling feelings and longings.however, my free behaviour was mistaken for flirtyness and in turn all my romantic dreams were shattered. I became cocooned in myself and started to shun boys, who, I felt, were after me just for sex. At this juncture 'Cathy' became my friend and saved me from getting mired in gloominess.Slowly but surely I got attached to her and we established a beautiful relationship.
Once my mom came upon us in our intimate moment. We were embarrassed but she left instantly without saying anything.
However, I was uneasy and brought up this topic with her.
Looking directly in my eyes, she asked,"Do you feel guilty ?"
I firmly said,"No".
She patted my hand and said,"Then it is alright. Posh,I have always encouraged you to be free to be yourself.I don't believe that human behaviour should be regulated by rules. If we all were true to our ' inner self' rules wouldn't be necessary. We all have an ingrained sense of right and wrong, of what is loving and what is not.
"always trust your instinct. trust that small inner voice that guides you to the right ,loving action. That small inner voice is who you really are. Be free to be yourself. Allow yourself to be spontanious. feel your felings, express the truth as you see it in the present moment, and let your love for life radiate from your whole being, expressed in your thoughts, words, and action. Trust yourself. affirm:'I am free to express in whatever way I like and will always be true to my inner being'. You have the right to live your life on your own terms. But then,only you will be responsible for yourself. Realize that this responsibility is really great. Honour it always. you may commit mistakes, but treating them as errors in judgement and lessons learnt, move on.remember, you are not only my child but a divine child of this universe! "
-PORTIA
No comments :
Post a Comment