My Friends! A request!.....
My relationship with Richard has ended.
There is no acrimony involved, and,
We are the only two people who know
What exactly went out of it.
As long as we both respect the truth, it will be okay.
I have learnt a lot while as was in it and
Don't regret even a single moment of it.
It has helped me move on in life and start afresh.
When a relationship fails to work out,
It doesn't have to be one person's fault.
I have taken a lot of blame for my relationships turning sour
And I always used to find faults with myself.
Yes,I have erred,erred a lot, and let myself be exploited.
I have suffered greatly on account of a simple 'girly frollic' in the hostel,
And also have been a victim of 'drug abuse'.
And when I came to my senses,
I had felt like committing suicide instead of facing shame.
That time my mom became my Angel and dragged me
Out of that deep abyss of negativity.
She made me realise that blaming oneself
Is not the best way to deal with things,
Because you carry guilt and ill-feelings
To your next relationship and on and on.
I have been trying to correct myself all the time.
But the main trouble with me is that
I am a hopeless romantic,
And always fantasise my 'Love'
As either 'a fairy' or 'a knight in shining armour'!
I believe in any person very easily,
Almost ready to be taken for a ride!The moment I start loving somebody,
And loving comes to me almost instantly,
I start thinking that 'this is for keeps!'
But it has never happened that way,at least till today,
And I am left bleeding, collecting the broken pieces.
I simply fail to realise
That no matter how good somebody might look on the outside,
We all have some dark corners and our insecurities inside.
I just want to request my friends
To support me in my ongoing battle
And accept me as I am, both good and bad,
With my charm and childishness,
And some madness too!
Indulge me as you indulge my poems!
...PORTIA
My relationship with Richard has ended.
There is no acrimony involved, and,
We are the only two people who know
What exactly went out of it.
As long as we both respect the truth, it will be okay.
I have learnt a lot while as was in it and
Don't regret even a single moment of it.
It has helped me move on in life and start afresh.
When a relationship fails to work out,
It doesn't have to be one person's fault.
I have taken a lot of blame for my relationships turning sour
And I always used to find faults with myself.
Yes,I have erred,erred a lot, and let myself be exploited.
I have suffered greatly on account of a simple 'girly frollic' in the hostel,
And also have been a victim of 'drug abuse'.
And when I came to my senses,
I had felt like committing suicide instead of facing shame.
That time my mom became my Angel and dragged me
Out of that deep abyss of negativity.
She made me realise that blaming oneself
Is not the best way to deal with things,
Because you carry guilt and ill-feelings
To your next relationship and on and on.
I have been trying to correct myself all the time.
But the main trouble with me is that
I am a hopeless romantic,
And always fantasise my 'Love'
As either 'a fairy' or 'a knight in shining armour'!
I believe in any person very easily,
Almost ready to be taken for a ride!The moment I start loving somebody,
And loving comes to me almost instantly,
I start thinking that 'this is for keeps!'
But it has never happened that way,at least till today,
And I am left bleeding, collecting the broken pieces.
I simply fail to realise
That no matter how good somebody might look on the outside,
We all have some dark corners and our insecurities inside.
I just want to request my friends
To support me in my ongoing battle
And accept me as I am, both good and bad,
With my charm and childishness,
And some madness too!
Indulge me as you indulge my poems!
...PORTIA
I accept you as you are, Posh. All you have all the support from my world!
ReplyDeletePoshy........Hugs baby. You know I want to say the same to you. Accept me as I am. I am also going through similar battle. You always reflect my feelings. You have written so honestly. You know I am in tears. I don't know, how am I doing right or wrong with people. But feel me always with you. YOU are feeling na......! :) Smile baby...your MWAH loves you a lot.
ReplyDeleteReal friends accept their friends without any inhibitions. You write beautifully and have come out a better and stronger, wiser person. believe in your abilities and enjoy life. God bless
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear this Portia,but u have your Mom's support,and I am sure you will emerge a winner,my best wishes and lots of love to u.
ReplyDeleteI love who you are...courageous, not afraid to share all the nuances that are Portia...if you have not read Otter-Women Power on Ravenmyth pop over and be reminded of the Power you carry within....the beauty of life's challenges is that if you choose, you will Learn...and that is what you are doing. Just be Portia...we love you just the way you are! Always...
ReplyDeleteHello sweet girl. You are navigating your own journey with honesty and candor. We've all been there, honey, and the truth is, living your mistakes is the way we learn in the beginning. After you get a few of those big ones under your belt, then you're better able to recognize some of the lurking dark corners in people, better able to avoid those pitfalls as a result of your experiences. Remember, the scars and Life Stripes make us all that much more beautiful. You're doing fine, sweetheart. Keep shining.
ReplyDelete- Dawn
Learning and growth is what life is about. Loving comes with pain, that is simply the way of it. You are supported dear in many ways. I will be here.<3<3<3
ReplyDeleteJust be yourself and the world will accept you Portia. :)
ReplyDeleteIt's sad that it seems so difficult to find people who accept us as we are. I consider myself lucky to have 2 such friends, and I wish you the same. I think you have a lot of friends here, and though we don not share the same "space", we are supportive nonetheless. Do your own thing, always do your best, and then hold your head high, for no one can ask more of you than that. :-)
ReplyDeleteOh Portia, we haven't met and yet I have always regarded you as God's gift and dear daughter. You may not say a lot of things about you but my instincts and intuition tell me who you are.
ReplyDeleteA little dash of madness is okay. You are you and whatever decision you make whether it resulted to something negative or positive decided who you are now. Have you become a better person afterwards?
I have always felt your resistance towards Richard as you've openly expressed it. And I support your decision. Whatever it is that makes you happy is worth the risk.
I understand ~ we're undergoing the same phase. I wish you peace.